AS anyone who’s seen a Royal Variety Performance will testify, it’s not the left-wing crackpots and republicans who are the biggest threat to the monarchy.
It’s those creeps who claim to love the Queen the most. Creative types, often, who need to express their admiration through the medium of song and dance and an Asian drumming accompaniment.
So you end up, on Saturday night, with Tom Jones doing a bhangra version of It’s Not Unusual, which, if you didn’t see it, is about as easy on the ear as the next fight in a Cardiff balti house.
If you did, then seriously well done. You made it through the first ten minutes of The Queen’s Birthday Party live from the Albert Hall. A Zoe Ball-hosted event which, straight off the bat, I have to say, was far from being the worst royal entertainment show ever. How could it be when the diamond jubilee flotilla is still so fresh in the memory?
Names that should strike you (if we dismiss the vague Commonwealth theme) as the most random bookings of …